Wednesday, April 1

Scripture: Jonathan made David swear again by his love for him; for he loved him as he loved his own life. (1 Samuel 20:17).

Observation: The friendship between Jonathan and David is the ideal friendship in the Old Testament. Jonathan is a prince and heir to his father’s throne. Jonathan befriended David after David defeated Goliath, and from that moment on, the two were inseparable. The test of their friendship was Jonathan’s own father, King Saul. Saul began to hate David after hearing the Israelites celebrate David more than they celebrated him. After David killed Goliath, Saul made David a commander in Israel’s army, and David proceeded to win battle after battle; it was like David could not lose. David’s popularity skyrocketed, while the public approval for Saul remained flat. Saul hated David for the reasons an insecure leader would hate his subordinate: David was celebrated while Saul was tolerated; David was young and handsome while Saul was getting older and well beyond his prime; David embodied a rags to riches fairy tale, the kind of hero people love to follow, while Saul symbolized the bland institution of government; and David, if he wanted, could rally the Israelite army behind him and overthrow Saul in a heartbeat, David was that popular with the people, and Saul knew it. Saul attempted several times to kill David, but David evaded capture and was often assisted by Saul’s own son, Jonathan. Jonathan and David were best friends. They were around the same age, both were skilled fighters, and they both saw clearly that Saul was either morally bankrupt or going insane or both. The statement that Jonathan “loved him [David] more than his own life” appears while the two best friends are planning yet another escape from Saul. Jonathan is at a crossroads: will he support his father, which would also mean supporting his father’s hatred for the same person Jonathan loves? Or will Jonathan side with his best friend, David, which would mean loving the person that Jonathan’s father hates? Jonathan sides with this best friend.

Application: What makes Jonathan’s friendship with David the ideal friendship in the Old Testament is that their friendship is rooted in a deliberate act of allegiance to one another. The two young men go beyond a mere liking of each other based on common interests and personalities. Their friendship is more than feeling; it’s a deliberate choice. The choice is forced on them by Saul, whose hatred for David forces Jonathan to choose, “Will I side with my dad or with David?” and forces David to choose, “Do I really trust my enemy’s son to have my best interests at heart?” Real friendship, the real kind that goes beyond the cheap counterfeit, is grounded in a deliberate choice to be loyal to one another at the exclusion of other loyalties. Real friendship is always tested by real tests of loyalty. Examples include, “Will I choose to trust my friend when trust is scary and I’m not entirely sure about them yet? Will I side with my friend and my friend’s way of seeing the world, or will I side with the prejudice of my biological family? Will I cast my lot with the imperfect people in my community and learn to love them despite their failings and mine, or will I play it safe and keep to myself?” There comes a point when a person has to choose: will I love someone more than my own life and call them my friend? Or will I miss out?

Prayer:

You know a thing or two about friendship, don’t You? You went all in with twelve best friends. They were an odd bunch: one a government contractor, at least one who wanted to overthrow the government, a few strong silent types that we never hear from, a headstrong fisherman with a big heart, a few siblings who happened to be in the right place at the right time when You came calling, one who sold You out, one who loved You as a scientist loves his proof and simply had to see the evidence You were back. And all twelve abandoned You, didn’t they? All twelve bailed on You and left You to take the fall for them. That must have stung. The real deal of friendship is hard to come by, am I right? But then again, it’s only as hard as my choice to sidestep the real deal of friendship and go all in with my beloved people, as You went all in with your beloveds, as You went all in with me. And friendship sounds like a trite thing, like child’s play compared to the world’s problems of wars and stock markets and hungry children. But every solution to every world problem starts and ends with friendship, right? Friendship is the vehicle for how good work gets done, right? Without friendship, love stays put. With friendship, love arrives at its destination. Make in me the real deal of friendship, please, and send worthy friends to the lonely and the friendless and those who sit at lunch tables alone against their preference, for I know a little what it was like to be friendless as You were friendless, and it stings. Onward we go: amen.